Our bodies remember our previous experiences. The more we can become aware of them in the moment, this is where change can occur. This weekend my team and I would do a time trial, to test the events we have been practicing.
I have decided to bring back the 400 free since naturally I am a distance swimmer. I was excited to test and see what I could do. I would do my normal warm-up, swim the 50 free then change into my tech suit.
When I was finished with the 50 free, I noticed I started to feel nervous, as if everything was on the line for this swim. I kept giving myself a pep talk like it’s ok Sarah, just like practice. As I started to put my tech suit on I felt a sense of uncontrollable anxiety.
I knew what I was feeling but I couldn’t stop it, I had to feel this, while being aware, I was feeling it. I even told my coach I feel nervous. I had no plan on what to do and so I just continued to make my way to the block.
Take your mark, go. I was off, the moment I dove in, I couldn’t feel my toes. The nerves had taken over. I forgot everything I have been learning in practice, and went into survival mode.
When I touched the wall, I realized I needed to experience that. Every race I am always nervous, just by putting that tech suit on created that awareness in my body. By being aware of it, I can change my future experiences.
The next day, I got a new opportunity to learn from this experience. I would be swimming in the ocean at the Malibu Tri, in a relay. Before I went to bed, I decided what time I wanted to leave, print the parking pass and prepare for an epic swim.
I woke up late, and said to myself, it’s ok. The printer wouldn’t print the pass, I said it’s ok. I never allowed myself to get worked up by any small detail. We got there in perfect amount of time. Manifested the people I needed to see.
By learning from yesterday’s lesson, I was able to work with God to create the reality I did want. I wanted to swim 1/2 mile in 15 min. I told everyone see you in 15 min. I spoke to the water, she spoke back to me. Sharing exactly what I would need to do to create that time.
I felt confident, but not attached as if it had already been created. The waves stopped for me, telling me with each stroke, what I needed to do. It was the perfect co creation. Having fun and being one with the ocean.
I got back like wow that felt fast, and later saw my time of 14:30. It can be effortless, we can create the realities we want. The more we trust, that we are doing it, that’s when the magic happens.
This weekend I got to heal trauma of all the years of being scared at a race. To feel it and be aware of what was happening, not judging myself but just allowing it to be. Then the next moment, I got to achieve my goal.
Mergoddess 